Recipe for contemporary American Reform Judaism:

(1) Take one spoonful of dispassionate lifecycles modeled on already secularized left-wing American Christianity (confirmation classes... really?)
(2) Add a healthy dose of insipid field trips designed to reinforce the fashionable catechisms of the political left ("today we're going to get in touch with God by recycling - yay!")
(3) Add a pinch of muttered and half-understood rituals grudgingly conducted three or four times a year
(4) Glaze the entire thing with empty slogans from the Barnes and Noble New Age section ("sure, sure sweetie... you just understand God in your own way, all that's important is that you feel spiritual")

Of course, that recipe only feeds like five or six people. Luckily, that shouldn't be a problem:

There are two impressive things about that "it's because they already come from intermarried families" explanation. First, it kind of begs the "how'd they get into an intermarried family in the first place, rabbi" question. Second, it is the single dumbest way to account for the findings. Not to be pedantic, but if the researchers controlled for family background then the family background of the children shouldn't be an issue (today's lesson is brought to you by the letter D for Definition of "Control"). And if the researchers didn't control for family background, then they should give back their research money so it can be spent on something that will produce more robust intellectual results. Like tarot cards.

But of course researchers at the intellectual center of Reform Judaism have to say it's something other than Reform's approach to Judaism. Because the alternative is that the show-up-on-Yom-Kippur-but-don't-take-anything-too-seriously model of religion is fundamentally flawed. American Reform Jews are fed a steady diet of the dumbest and emptiest multicultural slogans - even receptionists who put motivational "Hold On" stickies on their computer monitors roll their eyes at lines like "it doesn't matter what you believe, just that you believe" or "the most important thing is to feel spiritual."

Then Reform religious leaders say "this is why you should be a Jew" and Jews rightly say "well, those reasons are all stupid so if that's the best you've got..."

If you want someone to embrace a religion, you have to tell them that the religion is better and truer than, say, cheap spiritual taglines printed on Starbucks cups. Not to give away the ending, but starting off with "you should embrace your own personal understanding of Jewish theology and ethics unless it's something the Bush administration agrees with" is not a sound basis for the formation of belief.

Make sure you get to the part of the story where the Reform scholar explains that children need less time in Sunday school and shul because those things are failing to convince kids that Judaism is a good idea. Pay special attention to how memorization is supposedly counterproductive because students don't understand why they should learn about the Jewish intellectual tradition. Obviously, the problem is with the idea of memorization and not, say, with Jewish teachers who can't or won't give a justification for studying Jewish teachings.

Insipid New Age nonsense. Of course they think yoga studios are an adequate substitute for shul. Of course they do.

References:
* Sunday school doesn't deter intermarriage, new US study finds [JPost]
* MR Responds to Haaretz Commenter on Reform Judaism [MR]

Previously:
* MR Has A Question For Democratic Jews: Are You Fucking Retarded?
* Republicans and Democrats Both Talk About Jews Making Money. What's The Difference?
* The Democratic Party and American Jews: The Divorce Is Going To Be Ugly