French Proud Of Not Having Worst Soldiers Ever, Threatens To Fire On Israeli Jets
The French are congratulating themselves about not letting their bad training and pathological animosity toward Israel start a war:
We're going to go out on a limb and say that maybe French troops don't have the best "battlefield judgment". How could they possibly perceive a threat from an Israeli flyover? Just like from an everyday, common-sense standpoint – Israel has never threatened French troops and those flyovers routinely happen without any threat to French troops. What, exactly, caused them to perceive a threat? Are they clairvoyant? Are they just lucky guessers? There has never been anything - not a shred of experience or evidence - to indicate that those flyovers are threats. And yet, the French perceived them as a threat. There must be something about French feelings toward Israel that causes them to be totally irrational and illogical. Wonder what it is.
But let's break this "judiciousness" statement down for a second: France's nervous and poorly trained troops, driven by righteous indignation at the injustice of Jewish self-determination Zionism and giddy their opportunity to play at being real-life soldiers, did not have a nervous breakdown and violate their orders to hold their fire? And their Foreign Minister is bragging about this? Those are some really high standards they have for their fighting mean and women. No wonder those people are getting shit-kicked by illiterate Muslim teenagers in the middle of their capital.
"Our soldiers are wonderful, because they just barely avoided being so undisciplined that they would have let their hatred of Israel cause an international crises between two nuclear-armed states".
We will admit though - we kind of like the way that the French are phrasing this. We think we're going to adopt it in everyday life. From now on, we're going to congratulate people for not being violent in response to events that under no circumstances warrant violence.
"Billy's neighbor cut him off on the freeway, and so Billy was going to shoot him. But Billy managed to restrain himself, and thanks only to Billy's judiciousness a catastrophe was averted"
"Robbie's wife let the dinner get cold, and so Robbie was going to beat her. But Robbie managed to restrain himself, and thanks only to Robbie's judiciousness a catastrophe was averted"
"Jon's friend bragged about how he had a better jumpshot than Johnny, and so Jon was going to brain his friend with a brick. But Jon managed to restrain himself, and thanks only to Jon's judiciousness a catastrophe was averted"
"Amir and Yossi were guarding a checkpoint in Hebron, and a mob of Palestinians rushed out of Sunday prayers and charged at them. But they managed to shut down the checkpoint and hunker down until help arrived, and thanks only to their judiciousness a catastrophe was averted"
Except that last one actually makes sense. And is true. And happens every few weeks. And is never talked about.
Previously:
France Identifies the Real Threat To the Lebanon Ceasefire: Israel., France - How Did It Come To This?, French Intifada Begins Claiming Victims





