* "France proposes 'compromise deal' for Iran nuclear standoff" - Iran only gets half of Czechoslovakia, and that's the final offer.

* "Quartet throws support to PA unity government" - You didn't actually believe them when they said that they'd never fund terrorists, did you? You did? What are you, stupid?

* " Haniyeh: We won’t recognize Israel" - You didn't actually believe them when they said they'd stop being terrorists, did you? You did? You're not very bright, are you?

* "British minister infuriates Muslims" - He told them not to let their children become terrorists. That's not a joke, that's really what he said and it's really what pissed them off.

* Bush calls Abbas 'man of peace'" - Follows it up with "not like those 4.9 million other Palestinians".

* "Bush to Abbas: I'll push for Palestinian state" - Abbas to Bush: that's nice, but you know we're going to need a lot of money to set up mosques in Haifa.

* "Peretz: We won’t close our eyes to Iran, Syria" - All those newly-freed prisoners need somewhere to go.

* "Halutz: I don't need a lawyer" - All Peretz's fault anyway.