Wherein We Imagine Palestinian Negotiations
Hey, do you think that at any point during the negotiations over the unity government Abbas just totally snapped with how stupid Hamas is not to recognize Israel? Like was there ever a moment when he let the diplomatic mask drop and just went off on them...
Listen, stop being so stupid about this. The entire world just wants you to give them the tiniest excuse to go back to pressuring Israel. They've been running "thin hope for moderation" for the last eight months, even when you give press conferences the next day where you say things like "so we read this morning in this and that newspaper that we might recognize Israel. We are not going to recognize Israel" (oh, and incidentally, stop doing that)... Anyway, even that hasn't stopped them. You haven't budged a single inch from vowing to destroy Israel or abrogating a decade of treaties, and you've even gone so far as to commit an act of war. In spite of this, Europe has found ways to keep money flowing in- they went so far to give me humanitarian aid that they said was support to 'encourage you to evolve', which makes no sense anyway but my people even outright told them that the money was going to you in any case. And China has never been in favor of cutting you off. Plus, the US actually increased 'humanitarian aid' after you got elected (and we all know what that means). Plus Russia treated you as official diplomats because they said they were going to try to get you to moderate - which of course you threw back in their face. To say nothing of your people getting visas to multiple European countries and getting invited to sit with Turkey, a NATO country I might add. So how about you do us all a favor and just shut up for a month and pretend like you're willing to recognize Israel? After that - hell, during that - you can go on killing as many Jews as you want.
... and then maybe the Hamas people got real quiet and thoughtful, like they never saw it that way. And then one of them raised their hand and asked in a small voice if they'd really be allowed to go on killing Jews even if they recognized Israel? Which of course just set Abbas off again, because he was on a roll now...
You stupid bastard son of a pig! Of course you can! Didn't you learn anything from Abu Ammar in the 90s? Saying you recognize Israel makes it even easier to launch attacks, because Israel is always under pressure to make 'goodwill gestures' by taking down roadblocks and freeing prisoners - who of course go back to being terrorists. Abu Ammar invented tens of ways to do it, idiot. You can have terrorists who aren't in the government do it. Or if you really want, you can have your own people do it and just make up really absurd names for your suicide bomber groups so Western journalists will report it as a 'previously unknown group'. Or if that's too much work, just say it was Hamas bombers but say that they're extremists from your own party and you need more Israeli concessions to 'bolster the moderates' in your party. Listen, seriously, it is literally impossible for us to lose the support of the vast majority of the world's journalists and diplomats. So why not help me help them help you, and just throw them a bone, huh?
... and that that's how the unity government came about?
Or do you think that he just kept up the facade the whole time and Hamas just kind of figured it out the ? Yeah, you're probably right.
Listen, stop being so stupid about this. The entire world just wants you to give them the tiniest excuse to go back to pressuring Israel. They've been running "thin hope for moderation" for the last eight months, even when you give press conferences the next day where you say things like "so we read this morning in this and that newspaper that we might recognize Israel. We are not going to recognize Israel" (oh, and incidentally, stop doing that)... Anyway, even that hasn't stopped them. You haven't budged a single inch from vowing to destroy Israel or abrogating a decade of treaties, and you've even gone so far as to commit an act of war. In spite of this, Europe has found ways to keep money flowing in- they went so far to give me humanitarian aid that they said was support to 'encourage you to evolve', which makes no sense anyway but my people even outright told them that the money was going to you in any case. And China has never been in favor of cutting you off. Plus, the US actually increased 'humanitarian aid' after you got elected (and we all know what that means). Plus Russia treated you as official diplomats because they said they were going to try to get you to moderate - which of course you threw back in their face. To say nothing of your people getting visas to multiple European countries and getting invited to sit with Turkey, a NATO country I might add. So how about you do us all a favor and just shut up for a month and pretend like you're willing to recognize Israel? After that - hell, during that - you can go on killing as many Jews as you want.
... and then maybe the Hamas people got real quiet and thoughtful, like they never saw it that way. And then one of them raised their hand and asked in a small voice if they'd really be allowed to go on killing Jews even if they recognized Israel? Which of course just set Abbas off again, because he was on a roll now...
You stupid bastard son of a pig! Of course you can! Didn't you learn anything from Abu Ammar in the 90s? Saying you recognize Israel makes it even easier to launch attacks, because Israel is always under pressure to make 'goodwill gestures' by taking down roadblocks and freeing prisoners - who of course go back to being terrorists. Abu Ammar invented tens of ways to do it, idiot. You can have terrorists who aren't in the government do it. Or if you really want, you can have your own people do it and just make up really absurd names for your suicide bomber groups so Western journalists will report it as a 'previously unknown group'. Or if that's too much work, just say it was Hamas bombers but say that they're extremists from your own party and you need more Israeli concessions to 'bolster the moderates' in your party. Listen, seriously, it is literally impossible for us to lose the support of the vast majority of the world's journalists and diplomats. So why not help me help them help you, and just throw them a bone, huh?
... and that that's how the unity government came about?
Or do you think that he just kept up the facade the whole time and Hamas just kind of figured it out the ? Yeah, you're probably right.
