Select Your Own Snark
Instead of spending millions of dollars bringing and assimilating Indian Jews to Israel...
After almost three millennia in exile the Bnei Menashe Jews of India believe they are about to be returned to the Promised Land. More than 7,000 mainly impoverished Indian Jews will convert to orthodox Judaism in the coming weeks, thereby gaining the right to live in Israel. In April Shlomo Amar, the Sephardic chief rabbi, announced in Jerusalem that he accepted the Bnei Menashe, which means "Children of the Messiah", as one of the 10 lost tribes of Israel...
Despite his grinding poverty and occasional bouts of depression, David Haokip, a Bnei Menashe youth leader who embraced Judaism five years ago, remains a devout follower of his adopted religion and goes to nearby Beth Shalom synagogue to pray three times every day... After an Assyrian invasion in around 722BC, Jewish tradition says 10 tribes from Israel were enslaved in Assyria. Later the tribes fled and wandered through Afghanistan, Tibet and China.
... Israel should:
(a) refuse to absorb them. Demand instead that the UN take care of the 150th-generation refugees.
(b) arm them with suicide belts and drop them in Iran. Call them freedom fighters and blame "root cause" of "grinding poverty". That'll teach Iran to proliferate.
(c) set up refugee camps on Chinese side of the China-India border. Demand Right of Return into Tibet and China. Create fake keys to "ancestral homes." Hang them above door, make big deal about handing them from generation to generation.
(d) demand that they get UN observer status.
After almost three millennia in exile the Bnei Menashe Jews of India believe they are about to be returned to the Promised Land. More than 7,000 mainly impoverished Indian Jews will convert to orthodox Judaism in the coming weeks, thereby gaining the right to live in Israel. In April Shlomo Amar, the Sephardic chief rabbi, announced in Jerusalem that he accepted the Bnei Menashe, which means "Children of the Messiah", as one of the 10 lost tribes of Israel...
Despite his grinding poverty and occasional bouts of depression, David Haokip, a Bnei Menashe youth leader who embraced Judaism five years ago, remains a devout follower of his adopted religion and goes to nearby Beth Shalom synagogue to pray three times every day... After an Assyrian invasion in around 722BC, Jewish tradition says 10 tribes from Israel were enslaved in Assyria. Later the tribes fled and wandered through Afghanistan, Tibet and China.
... Israel should:
(a) refuse to absorb them. Demand instead that the UN take care of the 150th-generation refugees.
(b) arm them with suicide belts and drop them in Iran. Call them freedom fighters and blame "root cause" of "grinding poverty". That'll teach Iran to proliferate.
(c) set up refugee camps on Chinese side of the China-India border. Demand Right of Return into Tibet and China. Create fake keys to "ancestral homes." Hang them above door, make big deal about handing them from generation to generation.
(d) demand that they get UN observer status.
