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Because You Come Here for Hard News

Some posts write themselves:

Sexy starlet Jenna Elfman has gotten so deeply into Scientology that her main goal these days is to help it take over the world... Scientology "is a complete understanding of what is happening on the planet right now"... Elfman says you must devote yourself to Scientology or "you could be dead."

In the strictest logical sense, of course, she's right. It does seem that among the choices one could make, both devoting oneself to Scientology and being dead are options. But what about neither being dead or a Scientologist? Can I choose that one:

Scientologists who reach "OT 3" are told about "Xenu," a galactic ruler who paralyzed humans and sent them back to Earth in spaceships 75 million years ago, reports CultNews.com, which closely follows the faith. They were then arranged around a volcano and murdered with H-bombs, but their souls are still hanging around and are known as "Body Thetans" or "BTs."

It could be the case that no one religion has all of the answers. But certainly we can all come together on the idea that this one is way off, no?

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  • Omri Ceren is a PhD candidate studying Rhetoric at the University of Southern California's Annenberg School for Communication. He lives in downtown Los Angeles.

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