So we were trying to figure out what part of Prophets was being referenced by Israel’s testament to the wisdom of decentralized religion, and we came across this passage from Muslim scripture. Now, we will admit and emphasize and insist that we know next to nothing about the theology surrounding Muslim scripture. We know that the Koran is supposed to be literal word of Allah and we know that the hadith (which is where this comes from) is commentary that is divine but not actually the word of God. That’s about it. So if someone emails us and says “actually, this passage has no practical significance” we’ll take it as noted (although hadith is a basis for Sharia law, so we doubt we’ll get that email). We’re not actually all that concerned with its legal force as much as the approach it takes to distinguishing Jews and Christians from Muslims. This is from Volume 9, Book 93, Number 532s (which is almost certainly not the ‘proper’ way to cite hadith, but you can find it). We first found this archived on a message board titled “Boycott Israel [IslamCity]“, and under discussion is how Muslims will be able to recognize Allah during their Revelation. Apparently he has some kind of sign on his shin and when he lifts his pants and shows his followers that sign everyone will prostate themselves to him.
The Prophet then said, “Somebody will then announce, ‘Let every nation follow what they used to worship.’ So the companions of the cross will go with their cross, and the idolators (will go) with their idols, and the companions of every god (false deities) (will go) with their god, till there remain those who used to worship Allah, both the obedient ones and the mischievous ones, and some of the people of the Scripture. Then Hell will be presented to them as if it were a mirage. Then it will be said to the Jews, “What did you use to worship?’ They will reply, ‘We used to worship Ezra, the son of Allah.’ It will be said to them, ‘You are liars, for Allah has neither a wife nor a son. What do you want (now)?’ They will reply, ‘We want You to provide us with water.’ Then it will be said to them ‘Drink,’ and they will fall down in Hell (instead). Then it will be said to the Christians, ‘What did you use to worship?’
They will reply, ‘We used to worship Messiah, the son of Allah.’ It will be said, ‘You are liars, for Allah has neither a wife nor a son. What: do you want (now)?’ They will say, ‘We want You to provide us with water.’ It will be said to them, ‘Drink,’ and they will fall down in Hell (instead). When there remain only those who used to worship Allah (Alone), both the obedient ones and the mischievous ones, it will be said to them, ‘What keeps you here when all the people have gone?’ They will say, ‘We parted with them (in the world) when we were in greater need of them than we are today, we heard the call of one proclaiming, ‘Let every nation follow what they used to worship,’ and now we are waiting for our Lord.’
At first we couldn’t figure out why we kept getting hits for this passage when we were searching for a phrase from the book of Prophets in the Jewish Scripture. And then things got very, very funny. The Rabbi was trying to justify Jewish-Muslim reconciliation and interfaith cooperation, and to justify it he quoted from the Prophets: “every nation will go in the name of its lord”. This passage gets repeated at the beginning of this hadith… because Mohammed (or whoever the passage refers to as “the Prophet”) is mocking it!! Really, this couldn’t be more perfect. It’s the exact same quote. The Rabbi says that Jews and Christians should heed the announcement that they should let every nation worship their own God. Holy Muslim commentary says that Jews and Christians heeding the announcement that they should let every nation worship their own God will get them banished to Hell forever because it’s hateful to Allah.
Really, we’ll say this again – this couldn’t be more perfect. It’s like a meptahor for the entire battle between Islam and the West. The West says that we need to embrace religious pluralism and tolerance, and extremist Muslims say that our pluralism and tolerance makes us hateful because it allows nasty things like women who drive. Wow. Good job Rabbi.
Preempt: Someone is going to make the glib observation that Catholics have this kind of imagery in the Book of Revelations. This is actually an interesting point, but only because it exactly proves the Pope’s point. The Book of Revelations has a ton of really nasty apocalyptic imagery. And a lot of really smart Catholics have thought for a long time that there’s no way that that kind of imagery can possibly be meant literally, which they’re allowed to since they don’t take the Bible literally. Revelations almost didn’t make the cut into the New Testament because Chuch leaders were pretty sure that if they did people would try to take it literally. Even Pope Benedict – who, remember, is too conservative for the NYT, So for instance:
The book of Revelation, the last one in the Bible, is held to be one of the most difficult to read and interpret… But Benedict XVI has worked the miracle of synthesizing and clarifying in a simple way the meaning of the [Book of Revelations], in an address of only 1200 words. The aim of the book, he said, “is to unveil, from the death and resurrection of Christ, the meaning of human history.” Without Christ, he continued, history remains undecipherable – both yesterday’s history and that which is unfolding today. The seven Churches of Asia which John addresses in his book are in anguish “because of God’s silence in the face of the persecutions to which they were exposed at that time. It is a disconcertment which might well reflect our surprise in the face of the grave difficulties, misunderstandings and hostilities that the Church also suffers today in several parts of the world.”
St. Augustine himself had to spend not a little bit of time untangling all of the confusion caused by Revelations, and at some points got so frustrated that he just resorted to outright mocking people who thought that it was meant as literal prophesy. And what was at stake? PRECISELY what Pope Benedict’s speech was about – the mistake of reading Scripture literally as an exhortation to create a religious utopia on Earth. In other words, instead of demonstrating the stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid argument that ‘the problem is not any particular religion, but religious conservativism in general’, what this demonstrates is that Catholicism provides the resources for avoiding the excesses of religious extremism while Islam’s demand that every letter of Scripture be treated literally may not. If you think that this isn’t true, you’re welcome to walk into a mosque anywhere in Saudi Arabia and express your belief that the hadith is meant to be interpreted metaphorically – and then see how metaphorically it gets interpreted by the Sharia court you’ll get hauled into.
